Dear Abby, I need some serious help!

Yes, I'm one of those mothers who hate it when people tell me what to do with my kids, but today I'm soliciting advice from all you professional mothers out there. Within one weeks time, my 3 year old who shall remain anonymous (except he starts with a "J" and ends with an "oseph") has driven me to import my mother from Utah. Within 6 short days, he emptied 4 bottles of food coloring on himself and the kitchen (Ok, so I've finally learned my lesson not to shower while he is awake!),he drew with a green Sharpie marker all over Isaac's walls, crib, door, clothes, carpet, etc., and last of all spread poop all over his own carpet, walls, door, train table, and managed to frost each individual train car and train track with it. Then he poured a glass of water over it all. I walked in to a naked smiling boy(who was supposed to be napping) standing on his train table saying, "Hi Mommy!" No clue, no regret, no remorse. How do you even punish that? The next day brought more mild acting up. I ran upstairs (it took less than a minute!) to put Isaac down for a nap, and Joseph had pulled a chair up to the counter, dipped a paintbrush(I had just painting and cleaned it!:) in the sugar bowl, gotten out a bowl and was baking something with sugar and baking powder. What the heck? Help? Straight jacket? Military school? What are my options here people?

Moving on, Isaac is pulling himself up to stand, holding on to anything and everything. He is getting better at falling without getting hurt. His smiles are just infectious and he loves loves loves attention! I did not stage the guitar video. FACT.

I know some of you are just dying to know who the customer of the week is! Well hold on there partner! Lets go back to February! February's customer of the MONTH was Mary H. who uses them in her fabulous costume shop! Last week's customer of the week was Heather K. (Dave's fabulous cousin). Rah Rah Rah!! and Hurraaaaay for you gals!

Don't you hate it when you go to a Scentsy party and you forget to write down what scents were your faves? Gosh! I HATE that! Don't let that happen to you again!! My Scentsy Spring Openhouse is this Wednesday night (the 18th) at 7pm! Come try out the 20 new Spring/Summer scents. No pressure, no pushy sales pitch (and you KNOW how pushy I can be!), just sample and write, sample and write. Stay for as little or as long as you like! www.scentsy.com/serenitynow

Of Mascara and Men

So, my son wears make-up. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."(see old Seinfeld episode) Last time we saw what happens when I thought I could shower. This is what happens when I think I can clean the kitchen. What you're not seeing is the big ball of toilet paper on the floor next to him. So, he unrolls the whole roll right? I can handle that. Kids do that all the time. We'll just use it up on an as needed basis. But later, when his nose is running down his face and I tell him to get a tissue. He picks up the whole pile of tp and wipes his nose across it. Needless to say, I've been inspecting each square before I use it.

Later that day, he is playing "jammies up", he and his cousin Talmage's version up "dress up" in pjs and underwear. He puts on Talmage's pj top and Lightning McQueen underwear. I'm thinkin "woo hoo!" he's excited again!!! We go through the whole run around, if you feel the pee pees or poops coming out, RUN TO THE POTTY! bla bla bla .... About 10 minutes later, his Cars underwear is full of poop, very very soft poop. uhhhhhh (that's a loud sigh) I love Joseph. I love how he sings so well in Primary and I love how he sings, "My life is plan...my life is purfose!" over and over. He loves when the misshuraries come over and he loves to practice "being baptized" every time he sees the picture of John baptizing Jesus. He puts his hands in the right place on Dave's arm and plugs his nose with his knuckles. We do this baptism ritual every night between scriptures and prayers. I love how he say's, "Mom, are you poopy?" That's my kid!!

As for Isaac, he's been a very very sad little bear. He has a runny nose and 4 teeth trying to come in on top at the pace of a snail. They say it feels like fingernails being pulled out slowly over time. I feel soooooo bad for the little bubba. He is still so smiley in the morning and laughs out loud when his face is snuggled. But he's very pitiful a lot of the time. The only good thing about it is he likes to be snuggled and that is fun for mom and dad. We love our little snuggly bear to a million pieces!

I have to apologize. I actually DID have customers of the MONTH last month that didn't get their full share of credit. It was a 3 way tie between my mom, Joseph's birth-grandma, and my neighbor Gemia who bought a warmer for her Grandma (bless 'er heart)

The warmer of the month is 10% off PLUS an additional 10% off because EVERYTHING IS 10% OFF IN FEBRUARY!! That makes it $24.30 instead of $30. It's practically a steal!! Don't think the math through too much. Its NOT 20% off, that would make it $24. It's 10% off of 10% off. Yeah, they need the extra 30 cents. I'm just saying to check it out. Click on the link and then on "What's new". I'm just sayin......

Potty Training FOR a day...

Ok, so I think potty training is lame, stupid, AND dumb! I read the book Potty Training in a Day, right? I did everything she said to do and bought everything she said to buy. I bought snacks, chocolate milk, all kinds of New Year's paraphanelia, Thomas underwear, a doll, and I even made Thomas underwear for the doll! I made posters that make it look like we're on a train, bought presents and all the hoopla. On January 1st, we successfully the trained the doll in the morning. He put up with it pretty well, but after Joseph threw a huge fit. He did NOT want to wear the underpants! After an entire morning of this, I took a little potty training depression nap. I was awaken by 2 boys in underwear jumping on my bed and screaming "underwear party!" Dave had gotten Joseph to put on underwear by wearing HIS underwear. OK! Let the potty training party begin!! "woo hoo!", I think. Let's go! So, we kept going. At the end of the day, you have a throwing away the diaper ceremony and put them in pull-ups for bed. When Joseph saw the pull-ups, he looked as if he'd seen a long lost friend, "Dipes!!!" He was so happy to see them. In the morning he refused to wear underwear. He hates them!!! The struggle is over. I'm NOT going to train him. He'll figger it out himself someday. I give up. After breakfast, he found some of the New Year's streamers and threw them in the air and yelled, "Hurray the doll!!" Yeah, hurray the doll.

The pictures having absolutely nothing to do with potty training. They're just my cute kids at home and at the beach. Possibly a Christmas pic or 2.

I'm devastated to say there is no customer of the week. (Go ahead, click on it!) January has not been kind to the Jo. We're crossing our fingers that Scentsy has a 10% off sale in February. It's happened before, so stay tuned!! Not to mention, the February warmer is called "Symphony" and is very classy!

Love, Jo

Christmas Hoopla

2 events to share today. First of all, last Saturday we did a very cool Christmas family thing to do and took a ride on the Christmas train! It was a steam engine decorated with lights and presents and such. Joseph was in heaven. During the ride we were able to walk around a little bit. We went to a car that was open to the outside with a gate. There was a man playing Christmas songs on the violin, big presents, and a reindeer made of lights. We looked out the window for a while, then Joseph ran off (like he does) down a little hall. Dave and I heard the jingle of bells, and before he knew it, Joseph had smacked right in to Santa Claus. It scared him to death and he came running back to me as fast as he could. Santa gave each of us a candy cane and let us take a couple of pics. I hope it hasn't ruined Joseph's relationship with Santa for life. I guess worse things could happen. maybe.

Next, I have renounced my anal, perfectionist ways for good. This year I bought a gingerbread house kit. I didn't realize that the mom was supposed to have spent all day building it and letting the cement frosting harden. It takes like 2 hours between each step before you can move on! So, basically we each just grabbed a wall, slathered it with frosting and candy, and leaned them against each other supported by soup cans, hoping they'd stay. It turned out to be way more fun than aesthetically pleasing and was eaten within 6 days. Also, when we decorated the tree, I left my most breakable ornaments in the box, and just took a breath and let go, even when Joseph was stepping on the ornaments. I just kept the glue handy and kept patching them up. whew! Live in the moment!

Last of all, I know many of you were waiting for the very last second to order your Scentsy supplies for Christmas. Basically, you're too late. You had to order by midnight the 15th to get guaranteed shipping by Christmas. Lucky for you though, I have some stock on hand! BUT! I will be leaving for Utah on the 18th and you'll be up a crick. (that's how we say creek in Payson) You may just have to wait til January. By the way, the January warmer of the month is a rose-colored one, kind of shaped like my favorite, Torino. And.....the customer of the week is..... Isaac's birthmom and her mom, who each ordered enough to qualify for free shipping and free and half price stuff! Hurrah for them!! Just put an order together with your friends and you too can qualify! la la la

The very last picture is what I get for thinking I can go take a shower. 9 smashed eggs, 8 maids a milking, 7......

merry christmas!!!

Sorry I forgot....

I know after my last post, many if not all of you were like, "What the heck? Who was customer of the week? Was it me???" Well, I didn't want to mix church and state, so I thought I should wait a bit for the big reveal!! My customer of the week was Angie B, my friend down in Corvallis. She had a great Scentsy party down there and with only 3 guests still managed to earn over $35 in free products! The other thing I want to point out is even if you have never followed the link to my website before, you need to do it this time because you just HAVE to see the beautiful December Wamer of the Month. (Did I mention its $27 instead of $30 this month only?) I'm not saying you have to buy it, I'm just saying its the prettiest one I've seen. (and did I mention there's over 50 warmers to choose from?) www.scentsy.com/serenitynow It's not to late to order for Christmas! Just order by the 15th for on-time delivery for the big day! Oh, I also need to do a "shout out" to my girls at "The Style Co." for running an ad for me in their newsletter. If you ever wondered to yourself, "Why does Jo dress so HOT half the time and like a super scrounge the other half?", you can thank Amy and Kerri (for the HOT half, that is!) Since I'm pretty sure my blog gets over a billion hits a day, I'll return the favor. Check them out at http://www.the-style-co.com/ You won't be sorry you did and you're spouse will wonder , "Where the heck did my scroungy counterpart go?" I'm just sayin! And..if you are thinking, "Why does she use this as a forum to sell her darn wickless (and very safe!) candles", you don't need to read it anymore. You're officially univited, and if this were stupid facebook, I'd break up with you! ha!

Oh shoot! I just realized I've been neglecting my fan base who is purely and clearly devoted to Joseph's poop chronicles. (that was in brown ink if you can't tell! tee hee!) So, he's changed his own diaper 3 times in the last 2 days. He folds the diaper neatly in a package, but still runs around with a poopy bottom. I just want you all to know that I've reserved all the potty training books AND kit at the library and will be reading fervently while anticipating January 1st. The BIG day! The other night Joseph said, "Oh crap!" Good job mom and dad, your 2 year old now says Mormon swears. Uh....we didn't teach it to him!

Speaking of my billion hits a day. Please don't link my blogsite from yours or from anywhere. I am computerly retarded so I'm not sure how any of that works. But I really only want people who know our family to read this. Dave assures me we are protected/blocked/whatever the heck it all means. But we really need our privacy/anonymity when it comes to certain birthfathers of certain kids of ours. Anyway, I might post a picture or 2 now that will most certainly appear at the top. They were taken at Cousin Robin's First Annual Turkey Trot! Dave did the 3 mile run. Jo did the 1 mile walk (so!!) Joseph came in 3rd in the 50 yard dash(against bigger and older kids!), and Isaac was a total slacker and slept the whole time. Still gotta love him tho! Cute lil bear!

Love, jo

Git 'er done!!

Yea!! We're good and sealed! My only regret was that there weren't any Prop. 8 protesters to be in our pictures. :( On Saturday, November 29th, at later than 11am, Isaac was sealed to us! Our shed-u-eled appointment was 11am, and we were promptly there at 10am to sign in. Unfortunately as we were getting our records checked, we realized we forgot to bring our adoption decree. Not good. We had to drive home and get it. On our way out of the temple, we were able to greet all our guests coming in!

45 minutes later, we came bursting back into the temple and the workers rushed us around to get into the sealing room in time. The boys had been in the temple nursery this whole time. Isaac was really happy to be sealed and had the cutest smile on his face. Joseph was pretty much terrified and was close to tears the whole time we were in the sealing room. He really enjoyed all the "Christmas lights" though! (the chandeliers) We asked to have a few minutes in the sealing room after our guests had left. It was so awesome to look in the mirror and see our little family of 4 all dressed in white. We can truly be together forever and ever! I can't even tell you how grateful we are for the atonement of our Savior who made this possible and for the restoration of the sealing keys. The other 2 saviors in our lives are the birthmoms of our boys. They gave us our family. How can you not love someone who would GIVE YOU THEIR BABY!!? They did something for us that we can never do for ourselves. What other definition of a savior is there? We love them more than words can say. Our boys will ALWAYS know that these women made a huge sacrifice because they loved their babies more than self. They are our family's heroes and we will love them forever and ever.

I'm pregnant!? and It's FINAL! tee hee hee!

Catchy title, huh? :) Our adoption was finalized on November 5! woo hoo! Poor kid is stuck in the crazy family now!!! hahaha!

So, I'm finally back from the valley of the shadow of death. I've felt freakin' sick for over a week. Don't try to diagnosed me cause it makes me irritated, but I feel nauseated, dizzy, so tired, emotional, and cranky. My Dr. doesn't know what it is, but yes, I have an appt. with her next week. Just like those of you who are totally crazy, she wondered if I'm pregnant, so she made me go to the lab to take a pregnancy test. And it came back.....

What do you think? Hello! Did I have an affair and I didn't even know it? Of course I'm not pregnant. Speaking of which, since this is my blog and I live in America and can say whatever I want to say, let me get on my soap box about something. When people adopt, don't say, "That's ok, a lot of people adopt and then they get pregnant." That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard. Sure it happens to some people, but you're telling me that my first child doesn't count, and hopefully I can get "one of my own" that DOES count?! It is insensitive, unthoughtful, rude, and just stupid. Don't feel bad that people "have to" adopt. Just say, "Yay!!! I'm so happy for you!!!!" Adoption is the most awesome experience ever and I would actually be really ticked if I were prego at this point, because that is NOT how I want to build our family. Adoption is now our FIRST choice. Whew.

So anyhow, my Customer of the Past 2 Weeks......da da da daaaa! My sister Monica! Let me tell you why. Monica had a "Scentsy Basket Party" at work. It is super easy (especially if you hate going to those annoying home parties where people apply extreme amounts of pressure to buy their stuff). You just take a set of mini-testers of all the Scentsy scents to work and leave it in your breakroom, office, etc. for people to smell, along with a bunch of order forms and catalogs, and voila! Free stuff for you! I also have an honorary customer of the week; Tiffany J. purely for saying "Oh! pick me, pick me! " Really she just wanted me to read her blog, which I did! :) tee hee!

So during all my sickness and suffering in silence, Dave ended up giving me a few priesthood blessings. Before the latest one, he told Joseph that he was going to give mom a blessing. Joseph immediately laid both hands on my head. We were touched and thought it was really sweet. We weren't sure about protocol on this one, so we let him keep them there. He stood there for half the blessing. I think it will be really neat to someday have my sons give me a real blessing.

And as for poop....Joseph changed his own diaper today. I didn't know it until I found a poopy diaper in the hall. I patted his bottom to see if he replaced it, and he did! The next time I changed his diaper I checked to see how he did. It was pretty good! So, this must be the potty training sign. I'm still not going to think about it till January.

I gave Isaac his first haircut and didn't do so great. I wanted it to look nice for the temple sealing coming up, so I took him to a "pro" to fix it. So, she ended up shaving his head (see above) and I was so ticked and came home and cried and cried. Urrgh! I don't care how bad I did it, I'm doing it next time! My baby has a freakin' buzz!! By the way, all of my endowed friends(even those from far far away) are welcome to come to the sealing. Contact me for time and place! (We can't have any crazy freakin' weirdos from the internet crashing our sealing!)

That's all.