My little duckies in a row...

So, it is now time for my quarterly blogging! I've heard about people who make money blogging and I thought," Hey sign me up!" But then I found out you have to blog every day....about cool things people care about.... so that won't really work here.

So, a Christmas update on our little familia. Dave got a promotion at work so woo hoo! and finally! for us! I'm so proud of him! I bought a gym pass for my birthday and have been faithfully going 3x a week. I mostly just walk on the treadmill and watch CNN. Thrice I've taken the classes of death.(You see...excercise doesn't come naturally to me. "We build to that") Once I tried kickboxing and took the long walk of shame out of there. Oh my heck! hello! But I do have something to brag about...after a month or so of walking on the treadmill, yesterday I actually RAN for 5 minutes! I'm so proud of myself!!

Joseph is attending 2 preschools and doing really well. In fact, he played Joseph in the Christmas program at the Baptist preschool! He did great. He did 10 weeks of occupational therapy which was so awesome and for a couple of months we had an in home therapist who was super great with some of the hardest behaviors. Best of all.....he's pretty much 95% potty trained!woo hoo!

Speaking of potty trained, back in August Isaac decided to wear underwear one day. That night I tried to put him in diapers and we fought and fought over it! Finally he grabbed the diaper and chucked it across the room, and yelled, "No diapers any more!! He's good on the potty as long as I make him go regularly. Let's say 50% done. Not bad at all. He's funny as heck and says "What's your name Joseph?" He asks everyone their name and says "Nice to meet you!" He doesn't stop talking. Its hilarious.

So, it's starting to feel like I have my little duckies in a row, so I'm letting you be the first to know! I'm starting a little weekly music class. I'll send the email out soon to those whose emails I have. I'm very excited! It will be super fun and I'll be back into doing the thing I love. So, here's the short version...

It will start Wed. January 12th and go for 10 weeks. It will be each wednesday from 10-11am and cost $50. I'm taking children ages 2 1/2 to 5 years old. There will be a "concert" for friends and family the last week we meet together. Why not let your kiddo do something fun to break up the winter blahs!! Pass it on!

A diagnosis....FINALLY!

I've been meaning to write this for a week now, but I've been knee deep in poop. Literally. I cleaned poop off the carpet 4 times yesterday. 5 baths and 24 hours later, here I am. BUT! lucky for me, and you the reader, we finally have an answer to why the theme of my blogs are poop! Last monday Joseph was diagnosed as having high functioning autism. Earlier this year we went to a pyschologist who thought it sounded like he might have that, so we've had a little time to get used to the big "A" word. But on Monday we got in to see a neurodevelopment and behavior pediatrician to confirmed our suspicions. She's not calling it Aspergers quite yet. He also has the ADHD symptoms that usually go along with autism too. It was actually a huge relief to finally find out! I feel so validated. I get so tired of hearing he's just being a boy, or he's just 4, or so-and-so wasn't potty trained until blah blah blah. I get so tired of feeling like I'm being judged for being such a permissive mom and letting him get away with everything. I pick my battles like crazy!! So THERE! I'm not a crappy mom so stop judging!!! You just don't know what is going on in other people's lives and you just can't judge! The last 2 1/2 years have been nothing short of a nightmare!

During the month of July, Joseph attended an early intervention special ed. preschool. I was hoping he'd get to ride the short bus, but no such luck. A medium bus picked him up and dropped him off. At the end of the month, they decided he wasn't really special enough and needed to go to a regular preschool. Ok! NOW you tell me! With one month before school starts! Why is the dang underline on? So we finally found one. He'll be the token Mormon boy at the Brookwood Baptist Preschool! (Don't Baptists hate Mormons??) Or am I making that up? In the meantime he gets diagnosed and she thinks he definitely needs a special ed. preschool. Especially a social communications class. Urrgh...so now I'm trying to convince one school that he's special enough, and one that he's normal enough. Good grief! All the while trying to get Joseph to stop yelling "Ka-chow" at strangers.

I'm also trying to make appointments with a speech language pathologist for social communication and an OT for his sensory issues. His crazy "hippy" diet is the hardest thing in the entire world. For those not in the loop, besides his 20 allergies, he can't have milk, wheat, or sulfites (that's everything else). What is left??? What can I feed the poor boy? He's getting more picky all the time. This summer alone he's decided he doesn't like cantelope, blueberries, pizza, and waffles. All things he has previously loved. My head is spinning and I just want my little bubba and my little family to be normal.

Blaaahhh! That was a big fat emotional vomit. Who's going to clean THAT up???

My mom's brown paper bag

Ask me if I beat my kids? The answer is no.

I just went upstairs to check on Joseph and found him on the bathroom floor mixing hotel sized shampoo, condition, and an entire tube of Desitin together on the rug. whew.......deep breath.

Yesterday I took them to to the library. We usually get 5 books, 2 movies, and then we go. Did I do the usual? No, I had to go and try to be the best mom in the world and let them stay in the quiet story area and play. This is the area of the library where you sit with your sweet child and quietly put together puzzles,etc. (I did Not push the underline button and now I can't figure out how to turn it off!) After 2 seconds Isaac was tired of the big ABC puzzle and wanted to push the stroller around. I was helping Joseph and when I turned back Isaac was gone(with the stroller and my purse). I ran to the dvd section where he had run before, but he wasn't there. I ran to the front desk where a librarian was standing near the entrance looking astounded. (what? astounded? If you've seen the kid, stop him!!) I said, "Kid with a stroller??!!!" And she pointed outside. As I pushed through the people coming out, I mumbled loudly, "Who would open the door to let a baby out?!!!!" I ran out just in time to see a nice lady keep him from pushing my purse laden stroller into the parking lot. She asked how old he was and I told her not quite 2. She said, "I saw the whole thing! He pushed the automatic door button and walked right through!" I buckled him back in the stroller which is where he stayed and went back to finish the darn ABC puzzle with Joseph. Luckily he didn't even know I was gone. I sweatin like crazy so I took off my sweatshirt and had a scrougy t-shirt and jeans on. I laid down on the beanbags to catch my breath. I didn't realize how loud Joseph was getting, (because heck I 'm used to it) but moments later the librarian came in (I'm thinking, "great, I look like this scroungy mom who keeps having babies and can't handle them") and yelled at us for being too noisy (well, you know how sweet librarian ladies "yell") and how he wasn't using his library voice and people were complaining. By this point I'm just sweating. Lets just finish the freakin puzzle and get the heck outta here! I did M through Z myself in about 10 seconds flat.

And now we come to the brown paper bag. As many of you know, Joseph is allergic to everything. My mom came up with this BRRRilliant idea when she was visiting. She hid regular yoplait yogurt(compared to homemade goat yogurt that he won't eat anyway) in a brown paper bag behind the veggies in the crisper so Joseph can't find them. It worked like a charm, until today. When I came downstairs from putting Isaac down for a nap, he had downed 2 yoplaits. The rest of the day he's been literally bouncing off the walls, furniture, and us.

Do you know how much I love my boys?? I'm still here ain't I? :)

I HATE capes!!

Urrgh! I've just always hated capes and the kids who wear them are so gross!! It seems like its always these pale scrawny kids who run around in nothing but underwear and always wet the bed! They wear them for days and overnight and to the store and they stink!!! Yuck!! Sometimes moms make them at "Super Saturday" craft day and I just have to make fun them!!

OK, so Joseph wants to be Superman for Halloween. Where did he even get that idea? His cousin Talmage has Superman pjs(complete with cape) and Joseph has borrowed them for at least a week. He wears them all day, to bed, and yes, the next day. BUT NOT to the store!! And yes, he smells like urine. (but that's another story)

Yesterday my kids wanted to play superhero so I was the most awesome mom in the world and went on the internet and printed out masks for each of them. We cut them out and strung them around their faces. The towels I rubberbanded around their necks weren't working very well as capes, so Joseph had a brilliant idea! We printed masks off the computer, lets just print capes off the computer too!!

ummm....wait....

Where have all the Fa-rrers gone.....

...long time passing...wah wah...where have all the Fa-rrers gone....long time ago?

I'm so sorry its been ages since I last wrote but I have a ton-load of excuses starting with number 1. Please disregard my last post as it is totally invalid. After cleaning up poopy underwear for a year, I officially quit and put Joseph back in pull-ups. Yes, I'm the only mom in the universe with a 4 year old in pull-ups. It was just stressing us both out so bad that I said "forget it!!!" We were both relieved. He is perfectly happy to wear them and doesn't care that all his friends wear underwear. Nor does he care if I wipe his poopy bottom in front of his friends. Ahhhh....sweet relief.

Reason number 2. Dave's dad died on New Years Eve. He had a massive heart attack at 62 and just died suddenly. It was really weird to get that call and to tell Dave. It still seems so unreal. We went home for a week and helped Dave's mom figure things out. It was really good to be together with his amazing sibs and their spouses. We were able to laugh and hang-out a lot and share funny Rand stories. The hardest part was Joseph asking every day, "Where's Papa Farrer? I miss him." He loved his Papa Farrer so much and spent hours playing trains and cars with him. We all miss him. We now talk about Heavenly Father and Jesus a lot and how much Grandma misses papa Farrer too.

Reason number 3. Isaac is a little pill. (that is a term of endearment by the way) This child is practicing to be 2 although his b-day is not until July. He would rather eat out of the garbage can than eat his food in his high chair. In fact, he throws it all on the floor and then eats if off the floor when I get him down. As for his other favorite stunt, he LOVES the potty. One day as I was sitting on the potty myself with my head in my hands trying to hide from the world, I hear him come in, then splash! Do you remember Fillmore from the cars movie?? Well, he only takes organic fuel. Yes, he found plenty of it in my toilet. I nearly panicked and reached through my own urine to fish him out. What was I thinking??? I had the sense to take a breath and go get a rubber glove first thank heavens! He talks like crazy in real sentences! He calls his blanky "Nuggent". Not that we can even EAT chicken nuggets anymore. (See Reason number 4)

Reason number 4. Joseph is officially allergic to everything. List?? fish,nuts,soy,wheat,garlic,onion,pumpkin,turkey,peppers,mango,pineapple,orange,lemon,tomatoes, and my favorite.....sulfites. What the heck are sufites???look it up. its in almost every single thing you eat. We've been to both the allergist and the naturopath so we got both sides covered so no one can judge us. Did I mention we're also off cow's milk?? Well, if you're going to be a food freak, Portland is the place to do it right? "Keep Portland Weird", right? We're just doing our part. So I've spent most of the past week and a half researching what the heck our family CAN eat and spending a pretty penny at the health food stores. "Health Food???" Ok, so the people who shop there are scrawny, pale, and the sickliest people I've ever seen! Don't be offended, because now I'm ONE OF YOU!!! Urrgh! We drink goat milk and eat nasty gluten free bread. My poor kids eat rice animal crackers. We're going to starve to death. Luckily when Joseph is gone, me and Isaac binge on peanut butter(nuts) and jam(pectin, a sulfite) sandwiches(wheat)! I've told Dave he has to take me out to eat once a week so I don't die!

Which brings us to our next point. To make time for this whole change in our lives, I had to quit my oh so lucrative home business. I will no longer be selling Scentsy candles. Well, actually I have quite a nice supply in stock for 10% off if you find yourself in need of a little something special come Mothers Day or Christmas or Halloween or what have you. The main thing is you will be very disappointed that there will no longer be a Customer of the Week. You might find this a hard pill to swallow, but never fear! I'm replacing it with a "Freak Recipe of the Week" contest. You send me a recipe that is wheat,dairy,soy,nut,fish,sulfite,etc. free and you win!!! I'll be sitting by the phone waiting! Meanwhile my poor starving little family will be waiting too...eating nothing but....Easter eggs.

Potty Training In A Year

As we speak I'm getting all hopped up on Nyquil! The cold/cough/sore throat junk is hitting our fam for the 3rd time since October! Urrgh.

So, faithful followers, I've decided to write a book called, "Potty Training in a Year". (Maybe it should be "....Freakin' Year"!)I basically hate you if your kid was able to train in a day or "just decided to train themselves"! If you recall, I started with the "potty party" on January 1st of this year. I gave up in the spring,tried again in the summer, had some success in the fall, and now here we are the second day of winter...and you're all on the edge of your seat wondering....dun da da daaaah!

In fall, he was almost perfectly potty trained, except when he didn't want to go. He would cross his legs until he screamed out in pain! Good grief child! Go for pity's sake! Go! No, he would cry and cry in pain and not go. Now that happens only occasionally. He is still going through a phase where he has to change his underwear every time he goes potty. Laundry started to be ridiculous! we were running out of underwear every 2 days! Then we got wise and if it was REALLY clean and dry, we started re-folding it and putting it back in the "clean" pile. ha ha. Brilliant! Nowadays, he stays dry during naps(miracle!), and we're working on bedtime! He has stayed dry for a few nights now. All I'm saying is for those poor mothers with late late bloomers, don't give up!! This is what it takes.....LOTS of m&ms,then suckers, then cars, then craisins, then a soccer ball, 2 baseballs, a basketball, and fruit roll-ups. Just do that for a year. That'll work. And so help me..Isaac dang well better be one of those kids potty trains himself in a day before he's 2. (I just hate people with that story! So if your kid did that, don't tell me!!)

Oh wait! This is for YOU jamie! The customer of the month was my sister-in-law Jamie S. who had an "on-line Scentsy party" and earned $25 in free stuff and 2 half-price items. She also had an awesome party in November and got $60 in free stuff and more half-price items and a FREE plug-in. So if you're kickin' yourself for not buying anything in time for Christmas(or your husband needs a big fat hint).....Never fear! I still have a large inventory in my garage! woo hoo for you! www.scentsy.com/serenitynow MERRY CHRISTMAS!

BYU vs. U of U.... or..wait a minute....BSU?

I just wanted to let all you BYU and U of U fans out there know that Scentsy has come out with these really cool NCAA warmers! (They have BSU too, but c'mon does anyone really know anyone who goes there? no offense to my Meridian family/friends)

Part of the cost of the warmer goes toward the scholarship fund for that school! And the best part is.....I'm almost 99.999% sure that if you turn on your warmer on game day, your team will win!!!! What if BYU and the U are playing against each other??? Well, it's just a matter of who bought more warmers of which kind?

The only bad thing about these collegiate warmers??? There isn't a Utah State one!!! (yet)Where do I file my complaint?

Check them out at https://serenitynow.scentsy.us/Buy/Collection/97
(continue to the website!! continue to the website!! They're getting the bugs out of our new websites, so don't give up! keep trying!)

You know there's a fan in the family somewhere!! What a wonderful Christmas surprise!

AND as an added bonus, whichever team warmer I sell the most of, that is where I'll send Joseph and Isaac to college.....GO AGGIES!!!!....wait a minute.